Another Open Letter ...

Dear Liam,

Six years ago, when your sister turned one, I wrote her a letter and posted it here on my blog. Two years later, for your first birthday, I did the same. It's since become a tradition of sorts, where I write personal letters on some of your milestone birthdays, and then share them online for the world to see, lol.

Looking back at my previous efforts, I realize those letters are not so much snapshots of who you and your sister were then, but rather reflections of me at that moment in time. I guess documenting what I'm thinking and feeling is important to me. For whatever reason, I want you two to know what was going on in my head at a particular point in your life when you might not understand if I explained it directly.

It's also worth noting that these letters will likely outlast me, and it comforts me to know you can revisit them if you desire, long after I'm gone. Maybe you'll even share them with your own kids one day, or even continue the letter writing tradition yourself.

This year, on the eve of your 5th birthday, I decided to try something different. I asked my friends on Facebook to share something that their fathers had told them - or something they wished they had been told - that shaped who they had become as a person. They delivered some heartfelt, and sometimes humorous, stories and advice, which I'm documenting here, along with my own thoughts - with the hopes that you may someday benefit from our collective wisdom:

My first friend to respond to my request was my buddy Randy, who shared his dad's rule: "Every day, do at least one thing you don't want to do." His dad wanted him to develop the discipline to tackle tough tasks, knowing it would be key to his success.

Then my good friend Broomy shared that his dad used to tell him: "The only thing no one can take away is your honesty." He knew honesty was a key virtue - one that would inspire trust and respect from others.

My old frat brother Twig's dad used to say:"There's a lot to think about, but nothing to worry about." I really like this one. Twig’s father wanted him to benefit from his experience, realizing that worry rarely helps anything, while thoughtful planning usually leads to sound decision-making.

Mike, an good friend from high school, wished he'd learned "the ways of being a man" earlier. I share that sentiment, Liam - but with a clarification: Being a man isn't about being a tough guy, or suppressing emotions, or fitting into some knucklehead stereotype. It's about being honest with yourself and others, handling your responsibilities, and treating everyone with kindness and respect.

Your Aunt Denise (and your sister's godmother) shared what her father always told her (and me): "To thine own self be true." Aunt Denise's dad knew the importance of authenticity. He told us that our happiness and success should be defined by our own standards, not by anyone else's.

Aunt Denise's mom (you know her as Gaga) told me to always, "keep my kids safe and healthy." She wanted me to understand the importance of my family’s physical and mental well-being.

Joey, a good friend of your mom and mine, reflected on her father's words before he passed: "The only thing that matters are the people you love and the people who love you." Always remember this, Liam. It's should be a guiding compass for every stage of your life.

Finally, my friend Kameisha wanted me to tell you: "You're a torchbearer of the Hecker name.” And she's right. Hecker was my grandfather's last name, but not always mine. He was such a powerful influence on me that when he passed away in 2001, I legally changed my name to carry on his legacy. I hope I give you enough reasons to have the same pride in your family name that I do, Liam.

Along those lines, I should share a saying my grandfather loved: "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." He truly lived by those words, and I hope you'll carry them with you as you grow.

Happy 5th birthday, Liam! Today, you're like a tiny seed, bursting with potential, ready to break ground and blossom. And a seed needs fertile soil to grow strong roots that anchor it, and warm sunlight to help it unfurl its leaves and reach for the sky.

I hope this letter can help provide those roots and sunlight, Liam. As you grow older, spread your wings wide, chase your dreams with enthusiasm, and know that no matter how far you fly, your family will always be there to love and support you, and welcome you back home.

Love, Dad